About My (Grand)Father

My Grandfather was alot of things to alot of different people. Like my Grandmother always said, I will focus on what he was to me.

Out of all the stories I've ever heard about him, the one I will relay to you now makes me the most proud.

Grandpa was young when he went to the war. I've heard one of the main reasons he joined was to eat and get away from the situation he was in... I never asked him why he joined. Speaking about the war was far too difficult for him.

In the midst of all the chaos, he decided he needed to have a peaceful cigarette. He made his way to a very large tree and leaned against it and lit up. A few moments later he heard a noise on the opposite side of the tree. It was an enemy soldier, no older than he, who apparently had the same idea. Neither raised a gun at the other. They nodded and went back to their side of the tree and when they were finished they merely walked off in separate directions.

Grandpa's passing was one of the most difficult things I've had to deal with, equalled only to Grandma's. Everything happened so fast, in truth, I don't even think I've really processed it. Today is the first day I've had the time to slow down and take a breath.

One of the most troubling things, to me, is the fact that certain members of the family chose this particular time to get extremely vocal about their "true" feelings about him... and I find this completely disrespectful.

I am not about to apologise for the relationship I had with him, a relationship that other people would have liked to have had but didn't for one reason or another. As many of you know, he was the only Father I had growing up. It is so utterly disrespectful to tell me how little you care about his death, or him at all for that matter... because I do.

I'd like the time to grieve, rather than be angry at the problems and comments some people have created. Granted, there are negative things to be said about him, but which one of us can honestly say that nothing negative could be said about us after we are gone? And seeing as we would appreciate people focusing on our positive aspects, shouldn't we extend the same respect to everyone else?

Grandpa was the man who drove me to school everyday, (except when I insisted on walking),who would let me listen to the Stones in his car and try to sing along with, "Get Off of My Cloud", who threatened to hang boys by their balls from the clothes line when they called the house for me when I was 13, who told me (upon having my 4th child): "Oh well, atleast you won't be bored", who sang "You Are My Sunshine" to me at my Grandmother's wake, who stood in the hospital room crying when I OD'ed on Percocet at 13, whose smell of Old Spice I will miss for the rest of my life, and who I would give anything in the world, (aside from my own family), to hold again just for a second... just to smell him and hold his hand and make sure he knows how much I absolutely adore and love him and how my life will never be the same, and a little empty, without him.

It took everything I had to try and hold it together during his service... to not scream and beg for him to just get up and have things the way they were... and that is the way it should be. And my sadness after his passing could never equal the joy that my Grandparents brought into my life.

I just hope they know that...